August 16, 2010 was the day I found out I would be a "boy mama."
It came as a shock to me. Motherly instinct is something people say you secure once you've got a little human growing in your belly. Mine said girl, but my motherly instinct was broken, apparently.
As Jarrod and I walked back to the parking garage after our ultrasound, I recall saying, "I'm not disappointed. Girls are bratty when they whine, anyway. (I can only say this because I am one. Don't hurt me, girl moms!) Boys are sweet mama's boys." We laughed and were thrilled, despite us both being wrong with our guesses.
When Ethan was about one year old, I remember seeing a photo going around the internet that said the definition of a boy was "noise with dirt on it." I didn't find it funny. I got all mama bear and remember declaring that I did not think it was humorous. My sweet baby boy was not noise with dirt on him!
In October 2012 when we went for our gender ultrasound for Gabe, I was sure, again, that this baby was a girl...and when we found out we were having another little boy, I was a little disappointed. Ugh. That stings to admit.
I was so sure that baby was a girl...again. (and now, if and when there is a third baby, I'll know whatever I am feeling...is wrong! haha!) I wasn't ungrateful or mad or anything. It wasn't like that. Obviously, the gender of our baby didn't matter one way or the other. It was just surprising to us both again. We were both so sure.
As the 3 of us (and that baby boy in my belly) walked out of the ultrasound place, I admitted this to Jarrod, that I was a little disappointed we weren't having a girl. He told me it was written all over my face, and instantly, I snapped the heck out of it. That was not how I wanted to remember our ultrasound. We talked names the entire way home (We only had a girl name chosen.), and before we pulled back into our driveway, I was so excited...felt so blessed to be having TWO boys. Would he look like Ethan did? They would have so much fun playing together some day! They would be the best of friends! Brothers -- how special.
And now these 3 and 1 year old boys...watching them grow and interact the way they do? There is nothing better. I wouldn't choose or dream to have it any other way.
They've begun really interacting more lately. After breakfast each morning, Ethan invites Gabe to come over to his "back-up truck" (the couch). He claps his hands together as if to say, "Let me pick you up!" and Gabe comes over to him, giggling up a storm because he knows what's going to happen. I stand, coffee mug in hand, and watch each time because it just melts my heart. His big brother is going to pick him up and throw him onto the couch. His "back-up truck."
...and it's the best thing in the world in that moment.
There is a lot of blue and grey and black and green...and orange (That one's for Ethan.) in our house. The only pink you'll find is in my closet, and even that is pretty rare...
But I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, this boy mama gig. How greatly blessed I am to be raising these two sweet boys who make me laugh until I'm in tears many times...who make me so proud...who teach me new lessons on a daily basis.
Noisy and dirty? That doesn't offend me. I wouldn't want them any other way.