It is both amusing and shameful for me to admit the way I feel about you...and the frequency of our time together, well, it's kind of crazy sometimes. When there's a boring day with nothing to do, my first thought is to get Ethan and myself ready, and come visit you...even if we were there three days prior. I feel embarrassed, almost, when I come to visit more than once a week...like your employees are questioning my large purse and my frequent visits...like they're wondering why on earth this chick is here so often. I get it. I do. I mean, there has to be a more fun place to kill time than Target, RIGHT?
Not really. Oh my gosh, my life is sad.)
Consider this an early break-up letter of sorts. Soon enough, I won't be able to give you the same attention, and I feel I must make you aware before the time comes. It will be a shocker.
Since Ethan has turned two, it seems, a switch has gone off. He no longer enjoys sitting in a cart. He wants to stand. He wants to walk. He wants to get into trouble. He will say, "I promise." when I tell him he can only get out if he behaves...and the next second, he's yanking pots and pans off of the shelves, like yesterday.
I've been spoiled with a great child, and he still is such, but he's just that - a child. A mischievous one, suddenly. And so, with this, our visits to come see you have already become less frequent.
In less than two months, however, little Gabe will be here. And when I think of taking The Mischievous One out, even, I start to shake. The thought of that plus a newborn who might go off at any second? Well, I'll just come out and say it...
I don't have that much confidence in myself.
While one might think my husband and our bank account might be grateful at the thought of all of these possibilities and admissions, I would like to note that, with my REDcard, thankfully, I will get free shipping and my 5% off online still, and I intend to shop this way, safe with my children in my house, running around in God knows what, getting into God knows what. Hey, at least it isn't your pots and pans. And no one questions my frequent visits to target.com.
While it isn't the same, I will hold up my end of our relationship in that way, at the very least. You have not lost me completely.
I just wanted to forewarn you. It's happening already. And it won't get better.
I'm sorry. I'll miss you, but it will make our time together more special the rare times it happens.
Much (much!) love,-Laura